“When I heard that Malaika Pettigrew had made her transition, it hit me like a ton of bricks! I have known her, and loved her for most of my life. I’ve been sitting in prayerful review of my life, her life, and where they intersected — and words cannot express my gratitude for knowing her.

It is a blessing to know someone, for whom you carry a permanent mental snapshot of the day you met — a perfect picture of the exact place and time. And I have to say, I knew she was special in that moment. I met Malaika in 1971, at the UCLA library. I’d never seen her on campus before, but our eyes locked, and we immediately walked toward one another. I shared some student info with her, and we had a conversation that was comfortable, easy — like sisters who were simply reconnecting.

…That was her way.

She introduced us to Andre, and together they became fixtures in our lives — on campus, off campus, and beyond — through childbirth, eating a healthy diet, career changes, location changes, graduate school, religious and spiritual explorations, and the ups and downs of life changes. Our family spent our last night as Californians at their house in Oakland, before relocating to Boulder, Colorado. They spent their first night as Coloradans at our house in Boulder. Her children and my children were like cousins. I have loved her family, and she has loved mine.

In 1990, Malaika and I, and a few other gracious souls co-founded ‘Women of Color as Warriors of Light,’ a national retreat for women of color that happened every August for ten years. She created and managed an empowering, supportive program for the female children of attendees. There was such high praise for her program that women and girls who attended decided to return, year after year.

…That was her way.

Later in Boulder, I began focusing more on physically challenged people, while she blossomed as a community activist. She thrived in that role, and had a special way of bringing people together. Her contemplative nature often provided a sense of calm amidst discord. People responded to her as an almost angelic presence. She was that — no question. But she was also fierce — fiercely loving — disarmingly so.

Our paths diverged, and for a number of years we were no longer as close as before. I was happy to hear about the dance, and the travel, and the many diverse pursuits and involvements, knowing that everyone around her would be touched by her special presence-a blend of spirituality, creativity, the ability to deeply listen, a genuine sense of compassion, and a masterful ability to adapt to all situations, all people.

The Pettigrews left Colorado, and we left Colorado, but through our moves elsewhere, we managed to stay in touch — a text now and then, a wedding.

Then, after we had relocated to Washington state, Malaika and I reconnected. During that first phone call, we had a conversation that was comfortable, easy — like sisters who were simply reconnecting. No matter what, that was our way. We talked about Everything — our grown children, the past, life events after leaving Colorado, spirituality, lessons learned, and how we were — in the present moment. We talked about her health, my health, the health of family members. I will never forget that there were moments of talkativeness, and moments of profound silence — as if each one was fully absorbing what the other had just shared. It was a blessing. It was perfect. It ended with a mutual declaration of our love for one another, no matter what, and we left nothing unsaid.

Shortly thereafter, to honor her, and our reconnection, I sent a bouquet of orchids. I felt like they were dancing with color and movement, yet they were also zen-like, serene. I told her that ‘they express simplicity, yet they cannot go unnoticed.’ Like Malaika. Weeks later, she texted a picture and a note:

“Happy New Year. The orchids are still spreading your love. Thank you.”

I texted back:

“Amazing! The energy in your home must be sustaining them. A testament of your Spirit!”

Three weeks later, another picture of fewer, but still beautiful orchids. At this point, I was no longer surprised. I thought, “even the flowers love her!” Yes, orchids can be long-lasting; but I truly believe her Spirit, and the energy of her presence sustained those flowers for an unusually prolonged life. I just feel that was her way. She was nourishing, loving, full of life and grace — a bright expression of divinity that encouraged everyone, everything to authentically be themselves, and grow.

I’m so grateful that we reconnected to share some special conversations and moments before her departure. She was a sister, dancer, teacher, my daughters’ other mother, and someone with whom conversations were rarely superficial. She was a community organizer, world citizen, and a hard-working collaborator gifted with an ability to sacrifice her ego when necessary — for the greater good. A rare and precious gift. Everyday, I send prayers and give thanks for being able to touch and be touched by such a beautiful soul.

I will miss you, Malaika.”

— Carmen Coleman Freeman

“The past week has been a time of deep reflection and profound sadness since my sister-friend, Malaika Pettigrew, has joined her ancestors. Malaika was loved by many here in Boulder, as an activist and a fighter for justice but, also, as a beautiful, spiritual woman full of light, beauty, love and wisdom. For me, she was a dancer-sister; the two of us connected deeply in our love of Afro-Brazilian dance, joyfully traveling to Salvador de Bahia, Brazil to find the genuine spiritual meaning of the dances we loved.

But, Malaika was more than a performer; she was always looking to go deeper spiritually. We put together several dance festivals here in Boulder, always with respect, honoring and always learning about the traditions of the African diaspora. We frequently shared. and laughed over, stories about our children, husbands and friends. She was loved by so many and her loss leaves me with a hole in my heart that will be empty for a long, long time.

I hope that my love and the love of my husband Carl and my sons Gabriel and Christopher will comfort Andre, Maya, Jason and Naima. We love the Pettigrew family so much and share your pain and your tears…”

— Carmen Nelson

“We know you’re with us in spirit and we value having another angel watching over us. You will guide us as you did when you were here. You have been a moral compass for what was right and you let people know when you thought they strayed from the moral path. You touched so many lives in Boulder County from your work with the Mediation Center, United Black Women of Boulder Valley, The Institute for African American Youth Leadership, Multi-Ethnic Action Committee, Boulder County Community Action Board to Naropa just to name a few organizations. People sought out your advice. There were times when you didn't mind being asked and then there were times when that pissed you off. You were tired of the White Privilege that existed in Boulder County and you didn't want to speak for all Black people. You wanted people to do their own inner seeking and research and reflection. You wanted White people to step up to the plate and you were tired of educating them. You were right of course. I acknowledge and continue to reflect on my white privilege.  

The memory I will always treasure is that of our getting together for New Year's Eve. It was you, Andre, Ann, Geoff, Rene Marie, Jesse, Scott and myself. We would eat, talk and sometimes dance. What I loved the most was at the end of night, we each wrote our "Intention" notes. They were not New Year's Resolutions, they were what we wanted to do on the World, Community and Personal level. We dated them and put them away to be read the following year. The next year we took them out and read them aloud and talked about whether we met our intentions.It was a special time for all of us and I hold those evenings dear in my heart.

I valued our regular conversations this past year. They were deep and reflective about the meaning of life. What I love about you, is you always wanted us to go deep. Superficial conversation was not something that came naturally to you. I enjoyed these conversations and our connection. You and your family are deeply loved by so many, what a blessing. Love you and miss you.”

— Janet Heimer

“Karen: 26 years ago I moved to Boulder and wondered where the Black community was. I read an article about United Black Women of Boulder Valley in the newspaper so I looked up the number of the President in the phone book, called her and introduced myself. After talking awhile, she said “I am going to introduce you to one of our members because you have a lot in common”. That person she introduced me to was Malaika Pettigrew and you can say the rest was her-story!

Next thing I know we were meditating and doing rituals together and planning out the Institute for African American Leadership. She was the one I called when the social worker brought a little boy over to our house to foster and he would not come out from the floor of the car.

Scott: Karen and I were dating and we were welcomed into their family. Malaika and Naima were in our wedding when we got married. Remember that boy in the floor of the car? Several years later Malaika led Tristan’s naming ceremony when we adopted him as our son. 

Jasmine: She helped our parents during the international process when my parents adopted me from an orphanage in Haiti.

Tamara: And she helped me adjust a few years later when they adopted me and I was re-united with my sister Jasmine. Soon after that, she and Andre became our godparents. Malaika was my godmother.

Jasmine: Malaika was my godmother, too. She loved to dance and encouraged me to dance, too. Because of her influence, I graduated from Denver School of the Arts with a major in Dance in 2015.

Scott: As long as they lived in Colorado, our families celebrated Thanksgiving together. We attended each other’s children’s graduations, birthdays and other family events. 

Karen: Our families are very interconnected and we were involved in every aspect of our family’s lives. For example, Jason was a dance role model for Jasmine. Malaika went with me to Haiti, not once, but twice. In her quest for African-centered spirituality, we visited all the vodou temples in the Artibonite, the region where much of the first black slave rebellion began.

Jasmine: We were also close to her mother and called her GrandMary.

Tamara: We flew to LA for Maya’s wedding, where we enjoyed being with all the relatives.

Karen: Malaika and I were both in Mexico at the same time last year when she went there for cancer treatment. We talked on the phone through our deepest feelings.

Scott: Andre, Maya, Jason and Naima, we share your loss and know the sadness it brings. You have our love and support, as always. Hopefully, the pain and sadness will be tempered by the beautiful memories of Malaika. Malaika is gone from our sight, but not from our memories. 

Karen: Yes, memories are life’s greatest treasure. Although it is painful to be without you physically, Malaika, I know you are with us on a higher vibration. 

We love you!”

— The Ashmores

“Malaika touched so many people in extraordinary and ordinary ways. 

I had the great and wonderful gift  and privilege of knowing Malaika as my  beloved friend, confidant, fellow cosmic traveler and soul sister of my heart.

Malaika was a passionate woman who danced with her feet, the love she had for the Earth and  spoke from her heart, with great wisdom, elegance and grace. Whenever we would talk, I would learn and grow as she expanded my awareness in so many diverse and wonderful ways. She was a teacher of Spirit and a healer of hearts.

We would talk often over the phone an I would always look forward to hearing her voice as she would instantly put me at ease with her voice filled with  love and kindness, and her lilting laughter would lift my spirits.

She would often share her amazing and powerful prayers with me, her prayers truly were heaven sent. She was a pure channel of divine blessing and unconditional love in her prayer work and in her life.

We traveled to Ireland together with a spiritual group and would laugh about the adventures we had there.  Hearing about her adventures  and journey with the groups she took to Africa through her foundation, also warmed my heart as I knew how many lives she had touched and changed by her vision to bring all people together and her passion for helping create a just, fair and loving world for all.

She was a warrior of light and an Earth angel of peace, love and goodness. She was a force of nature as great beauty, truth, power and wisdom flowed through her and blessed all of us that had the good fortune to know her.

I will love you forever Malaika and will be looking for the butterflies and birds all all the ways that you will continue to share your spirit and beauty with us.

Thank you beloved sister of my heart. Be at peace dear friend, we are here and we are sending our love to you.

David and I love you and all of your family, and are holding you closely in our hearts.”

— Lee Cook-Mitchell

“Message to my sister Malaika,

I have listened to Marianne Williamson often point out that the Course in Miracles refers to all relationships as assignments. As I understand it, it isn't about what WE are bringing to the relationship, but instead, what do we learn about ourselves from what is being presented to us by the other person.

Being part of a big family, I admit that I didn't always see the experiences I had with them as lessons, and I would be triggered and fight against the person through the years. I intend to do better, I will look for the lesson, and I will see how I can bring more love and light to the world.

Thank you for the lessons you brought to me and continue to bring in your new glorious form. Aloha, And So It Is.”

— Laura Charity

“Aunt Malaika had such a sense of wisdom to her- like she was an old soul. Whenever I would talk to her, she would almost always say something that would resonate with me on a deep level. It was like getting sage advise without having to ask!

I remember when I was younger, my dad (Ricky) and I would go to visit the Pettigrews in Colorado every year, the day after Christmas. I always looked forward to those trips, but one thing I do remember from one of these trips was the first time I learned what meditation was. I remember she invited me and my cousin Naima into one of her bedrooms that was decorated with colorful pillows, blankets and pictures on the wall. The scent of incense filled the room and had a calming effect. My aunt told me that this was her meditation room- it was were she would calm her mind and talk to God. She told me to close my eyes and relax, and just breathe. Now, I was fairly young at the time, and did not think I was doing this correctly, so I just continued to sit with my eyes closed, and wait until I got that direct message from God. After a while, she told us to open our eyes and tell her what we heard or saw. My cousin went into detail of the inspiring message that she got and my Aunt Malaika shared hers as well. When she asked if I had gotten a message, I was sad to say that "I didn't hear anything from God", and thought I had failed at the task. I remember my aunt being so encouraging and telling me that it was okay if I didn't hear any message or see any images, because God is always with us giving us messages, even if we don't think we can see or hear them. When she said that, I thought that she was the most magical person in the world. Someone who had a direct line to God and knew that we all shared that connection. To this day, I still believe that she IS MAGICAL.

Aunt Malaika was kind, creative, intelligent, and a powerful spiritual presence. She carried herself with such grace and elegant - as all of the women in our family do - which is why I am so proud to have that same wisdom, grace and beauty flowing through me. There will never be enough that I can say to express how grateful I am to have had the privilege of having you as an aunt, but for now, I will simply say - to my Dear Aunt Malaika - thank you so much for sharing your beautiful soul with all of us. I love you and I will miss you dearly.”

— Erica Stanton

“There are so many wonderful memories of Malaika--she was truly an angel. When Darrell and I first moved to Colorado in 1995 — one of the first families we met were the Pettigrews. Darrell and Andre hit if off immediately bonding over college basketball, and playing many Saturday mornings. Malaika became like a mom-away-from home for me. When I moved to Colorado I had a 6 year old and a 1 year old. By the time I left I had added a baby boy. Two girls and a boy. I loved watching Malaika parent her two girls and a boy — and it gave me hope that it could be done with the grace, ease and love that she infused into almost everything she did. She introduced me to so many things — and I worked with her at the Institute for African American Leadership on trying to help the Black youth of Boulder find their voice and feel supported. It was a heart wrenching labor infused with hope and love from Malaika.

To Malaika — everything was possible. And everything was possible. She made it so.

When Darrell and I moved to North Carolina, we were sorry to leave so many good friends behind — and of course Malaika and Andre were at the top of the list. Our last celebration with them was brining in the new year 2000! It was our last part in Colorado. We were thrilled when they moved to Durham and it was always good to see them. I loved talking music with Malaika and Andre — and Andre knows ALL the songs.

Malaika brought me to my spiritual family in 2017 — the ACIM morning call with Takoma Park Metaphysical Chapel. That morning call and that family has changed my entire life. I am eternally grateful. And, her reach grew greater as I have extended the call to others. Our NC group is strong and it's because of Malaika.

I cried today. I cried, and I am crying as I write this. Twenty-five years is a long time and she was a constant. There is so much. So many things to say about her that I don't know where to stop, start or end. I found comfort in knowing she is among the ancestors and is still with us.

To the family — I love you. I loved your mom. Please consider me part of your family — if you need anything — ever. I am sending you love and light.”

— Shawn Ricks

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